LO4: Editing the Script

Hi Caitlin,

Here is feedback from your script. If you need me to elaborate on any of the answers feel free to drop me a message.

1) Do you think we covered enough news topics to keep the viewer intrested?

I do, I really enjoyed the fact that all 3 topics were different and also gaming related.


2) Did the new script balance well for both the presenters equally?

Yes I felt that it was balanced well between both presenters.

3) Was the gaming news relevent  for the show and was it suitable for the target audience and genre?

I felt all of the topics covered were relevent and is suited to all types of gamers and also is applicable to other audiences.

4) Do you think the news we mentioned was spread out enough to cover a few different areas of the gaming genre?

I really liked the topics that were picked you didn't just stick with releases or events it was mixed up well enough and covered enough to fill the slot for the show, however if you want to add more to it, think about covering a local event/development.

5) Do we need to make any improvements to the layout, text or dialoge?

The layout of the script is fine however, I would say to avoid putting in too many scenes of us laughing/asking each other questions as it takes away the 'news' feel of the segment.

Once those changes have been made I think it will be a great script. 

From Vickys Feedback above I have edited the script in the following ways.. 

In yellow I have highlighted the parts of the script where I have removed Vicky and Jordan laughing in the hope to keep the script sounding like a professional news script.

I have also added onto the end of the script a local project that is happening in Sheffield. Although this isn't a project or event that anyone can get involved with the audience may be interested to see how this project will turn out as it is with young creative people. 

LO4: Final Script

THE GAMES CORNER

NEWS SECTION – EPISODE 5

23/04/15

CREATED BY

CAITLIN BAKER

HARRY SWALLOW

LEWIS LEVERSDGE

1.INT.STUDIO.N.I FADE UP OF

GFX – NEWS SECTION LOGO

SFX – NEWS CORNER INTRO SOUND

LOCATION: UTC SHEFFIELD STUDIO 2

SET: 2 SOFAS, POSTERS ON WALL, SMALL TABLE AT FRONT, TV IN MIDDLE.

TIME: MIDDAY

GFX: FADE IN

LEVEL MEDIUM TWO SHOT OF VICKY AND JORDAN

JORDAN

And now its time for the news corner, lets take a look at what’s coming up..

CUT TO LEVEL SHOT OF STUDIO

VICKY

one of the biggest news exhibitions regarding the game industry is coming up in June, only a few months away

CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE UP OF JORDAN

JORDAN

The Star Wars battle front teaser trailer has finally been released and we’ll be showing it to you later

CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE UP ON VICKY

VICKY

and also this week app developers are prepping games for the new release of the Apple Watch

CUT TO TWO SHOT OF VICKY AND JORDAN

JORDAN

but first up, lets find out what E3 is all about

CONT. SHOT

VICKY

E3 is arguably the biggest private gaming event in worlds history. It happens every year always taking place in America, this year being located in los Angeles.

CONT. SHOT

JORDAN

this event mainly covers new releases and up and coming triple A games, triple A games meaning the biggest main stream, money making games out there.

CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF VICKY

VICKY

Bethesda, 2K, EA, Microsoft, Nintendo, and Sony are just a few of the top big names that will be attending this years event.

CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF JORDAN

JORDAN

the event will take place from June 16th to June 18th at the Los Angeles convention center.

CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE UP OF VICKY

VICKY

for three exciting days, leading edge companies, ground breaking new technologies and never before seen products will be showcased. E3 is an event to connect you with both new and existing partners and provides exposure to emerging markets.

CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE UP OF JORDAN

JORDAN

Unfortunately for all you game geeks out there this event is invite only, but be sure to check the news regularly as soon after articles and videos will be available online from the event so you wont miss completely out.

CUT TO MEDIUM TWO SHOT

VICKY

if your lucky enough to have been invited to E3 here are some things you may need to know. (Pause) if you are under 17 you will not be allowed in the event and photo ID will be required.

CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE UP ON JORDAN

JORDAN

the E3 badge that you will get given is to be worn at all times and is non-transferable. Also no photography or videography is permitted through out these 3 days on the show floors.

CUT TO TWO SHOT OF VICKY AND JORDAN

VICKY

we are very excited for this event and cant wait for it to happen.

CONT. SHOT

JORDAN

next up its time to show you the new teaser trailer for the star wars battle front game.

CONT. SHOT

VICKY

guys I hope you are as excited as we are. This is a good one

CUE STAR WARS TRAILOR

INT. STUDIO MEDIUM CLOSE UP ON VICKY

VICKY

so guys what did you think?

CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE UP ON JORDAN

JORDAN

I love it! I cant wait to be playing on this game. On November 20th when the game is released I’m sure this will become very popular amongst gaming fans.

CUT TO TWO SHOT OF VICKY AND JORDAN

VICKY

the game will be realised on every platform apart from Wii u, so get ready.

CONT. SHOT

JORDAN

more information on the Star Wars battle front will be announced at E3.

CONT. SHOT

VICKY

However, there is one thing we know about this game… so you know the previous star wars game… and how you could go in space? well apparently we have heard from reliable sources that this space feature will not be included in the star wars release later this year.

CONT. SHOT

JORDAN

When the game is finally realised in November we will sure to be reviewing it.

(vicky and jordan laughs)(remove this)

CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF VICKY

VICKY

and finally lets talk about the newest apple development… the Apple Watch!!!

CUT TO VICKY AND JORDAN

JORDAN

Vicky have you ordered yours??

CUT TO TWO SHOT OF VICKY AND JORDAN

VICKY

no not yet!! Have you?

CONT. SHOT

JORDAN

Yes!! Shipping is this Friday so you best hurry up and order!

CONT. SHOT

VICKY

(LAUGHS)(remove this)

as the watch is beginning to be shipped to consumers, game developers believe there is a big potential for a new audience for their wares on the watch, and are already gearing up with new apps.

CONT. SHOT

JORDAN

if you have pre ordered an Apple Watch, here are some of the games you can look out for.

so first up there’s a letter pad, a simple 12 letter puzzle game

CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF VICKY

VICKY

boxpop- a chess like game with different levels

CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF JORDAN

JORDAN

zombies run- as excersize meets gaming… finally!! as you go on a job and get motivated by the sight of zombies on your wrist.

CUT TO MEDIUM SHOT OF VICKY

VICKY

and finally trivia cracl. this is one of the most popular smartphone games of the year, and now its coming to the watch. Friends ask trivia questions and you answer the multiple choice offerings. Sometimes there can be a lag time off the phone as you wait for new questions to come in but now maximo cavazzani, the developer of crack told us this is no longer to be with the watch.. you can answer the questions as soon as they come up

CUT TO TWO SHOT OF VICKY AND JORDAN

JORDAN

well it all sounds like an exciting week in gaming doesn’t it?

CONT. SHOT

VICKY

I agree!! lots of exciting things happening this week and we now have a very special announcement that Sumo Digital have just released. 

CUT TO MEDIUM CLOSE UP ON JORDAN

JORDAN

We do indeed. Sumo have announced that this week they are going into the UTC, a new technical college in Sheffield, in order to talk to them about a project. 

CUT TO MEDIUM TWO SHOT 

VICKY

Sumo Digital, a gaming company, want to work with the students at the UTC in order to create a brand new video game.

CONT. SHOT

JORDAN

The game will be worked on by the new year 12's for the next two years while they study at the UTC. The game is set to realise after 

they graduate from college. 

CONT SHOT.

VICKY

So keep your eyes peeled for any teasers or announcements of Sumo's latest project. Were hoping to soon do an interview with some of the students to find out what is really going on.

JORDAN

Keep tuned in each week to hear the latest news in gaming. I hope you enjoyed this weeks news corner.

CUT TO WIDE ANGLE STUDIO SHOT

FADE OUT WITH OUTRO

LO5: Production Plan from Meeting Minutes Feedback

LO5: Meeting Minutes of Feedback from Vicky

LO5: Reflection from Feedback

I have been asked by Jasmine Shau a production assistant and Vicky Kilby a presenter from The Games Corner, both working for Sheffield Live TV to produce a 5 minute TV news broadcast script for the weekly news section of the 'Games Corner'. I will research current releases/reviews for the WC 20th March. To create this script I will work alongside my script writing team.
The Games Corner has a NRS social grade of C1, D & E which means viewers have very little disposable income. This is due to SLTV only being aimed at the people living in certain deprived areas around Sheffield City Centre.
One of our typical target audience members was a 17 year old boy names Mason who was into gaming. Our script can relate to this demographic audience as follows... 

The script talks about and then shows the new realise of the star wars battle front game trailor. 

JORDAN

NEXT UP ITS TIME TO SHOW YOU THE NEW TEASTER TRAILOR FOR THE STAR WARS BATTLE FRONT GAME.

CUT TO

VICKY

GUYS I HOPE YOU ARE AS EXCITED AS WE ARE. THIS IS A GOOD ONE

CUE STAR WARS TRAILOR

This information is suitable for our target audience  as our typical audience member will have an interest in gaming and so will enjoy the new trailor as they are finding out about what the game play may be like, the characters and style of the game. 

Our script also featured information about the new Apple Watch and how different gaming App's are being developed so that they are suitable for the the new technologie. 

 

VICKY

(LAUGHS)

AS THE WATCH IS BEGINNING TO BE SHIPPED TO CONSUMERS GAME DEVELOPERS BELIEVE THERE IS A BIG POTENTIAL FOR A NEW AUDIENCE FOR THEIR WARES ON THE WATCH, AND ARE ALREADY GEARING UP WITH NEW APPS.

CUT TO

JORDAN

IF YOU HAVE PRE ORDERED A APPLE WATCH HERE ARE SOME OF THE GAMES YOU CAN LOOK OUT FOR.

SO FIRST UP THERES A LETTER PAD, A SIMPLE 12 LETTER PUZZLE GAME

CUT TO

VICKY

BOXPOP- A CHESS LIKE GAME WITH DIFFERENT LEVELS

CUT TO

JORDAN

ZOMBIES RUN- AS EXCERSIZE MEETS GAMING… FINALLY!! AS YOU GO ON A JOB AND GET MOTIVATED BY THE SIGHT OF ZOMBIES ON YOUR WRIST.

This section of the script will also suit our versitile audience as the Apple Watch is targeted at a slightly older group of people from 18+ and so this information to them will be useful to them as they are learning about a new product that is being targeted at them. This section also advertises the Apple Watch to viewers watching the games corner and as Apple is a very large company many of the viewers will be interested in this. 

As Sheffield Live is a community radio station  they will have to fulfil the remit of a community radio station meaning they will have to broadcast content that is suitable for a diverse audience. 

There were certain things that Vicky gave us feedback on in order to complete our script. She said we should avoid putting in laughing scenes of her and Jordan as this takes away the news feel of the script however other than that everything was good. The only other thing we could include would be a local event or development however we have already got 3 segments to our news script. 
It is important for us to make these changes to our script as we don't want to take the news feel away from our script as this is the purpose of the script and the brief that was given. 

In order to make changes to our script we will need to read through the script again and take out the parts where Vicky and Jordan are laughing as well as making sure all the text reads well for TV and fits the news genre. 
We are also going to look at including a local development or event happening in Sheffield as the remit of community radio Sheffield Live and Sheffield Live TV is to target a diverse audience in Sheffield and so by including a local event this would fit with the remit of the show. In the week we had to write our script for, there was no news of any sort including local events or developments which is why we didnt include this into our script. However other scripts that will be used for the games corner will include local news or development so each week the audience will still be given good information about the gaming world. 


I wrote the script in an informative yet chatty so that the audience would be learning information however feeling relaxed whilst watching.
Typical features of a script include, dialogue, location details, graphics, sounds and camera work. Our script includes dialogue all the way through which was a mix of Vicky and Jordan talking. We are going to include location details and sounds at te top of our script when we do our final update. We have included graphics and camera works in our cript however we didnt make them very detailed and instead they looked very basic so in the update of our script we will look at these features i more detail. 
The house style of our script is Courier 12 which is the typical script font and size so we will not need to make any changes to this. Our script also followed the typical layout conventions of a script with the location, GFX and SFX on the left hand side,the dialogue in the centre and the camera actions on the right hand side. The mode of address for ur script is both Peer to Peer and teacher to pupil. This is beacuse peer to peer means that the presenters connected well with the target audience however they are still informing the viewer meaning is still includes aspects of teacher to pupil as the audience membe will still be learning about typical gaming news. Although there are aspcts of teacher to pupil the language is still informal yet informative in order to follow the conventions of a TV news broadcast script and relate to the target audience. 
From my script I am missing the main camera angles and where the presenters are suppost to be looking. In my update if I add in camera angles then this will help the presenters know where to look and the types of angles the camera will be at it will help the presenters know how to sit and their posture. 
Over all my script needs more camera directions, the time of day and location stated, camera angles and camera movememnt so that is can be used to film.   

According to Ofcom broadcasting codes our script adheres with this as it has appropriate content for children under 18 years old this is because our schow will be broadcast at midday meaning that it must be watershed. Watershed means that is will not include any offensive language, sexual references, or any drugs, alcohol or any illegal use of these. Our script is clearly free of all these making it appropriate and follows Ofcom. As we are making a news script for midday TV these different subjects wouldn't even be considered anyway.
Our script is bias but this is because part of our script included looking at the new star wars game trailor and so we have to include positive comments about this for example..  

VICKY

GUYS I HOPE YOU ARE AS EXCITED AS WE ARE. THIS IS A GOOD ONE

CUE STAR WARS TRAILOR

VICKY

SO GUYS WHAT DID YOU THINK?

CUT TO

JORDAN

I LOVE IT! I CANT WAIT TO BE PLAYING ON THIS GAME. ON NOVEMBER 20^TH WHEN THE GAME IS RELEASED IM SURE THIS WILL BECOME VERY POPULAR AMOUNGST GAMING FANS. 

It is ok to be bias on this type of information as this is the style of the programme ad so follows the remit of Sheffield Live. 

We would gain copyright for any music and graphics found by requesting for permission to use them and giving them credit in the show. We must gain permission to use any sound or images as it will be going out live on TV and could result in beng sued.  

We will ensure that any information being broadcast is libel by using trusting sources for information and official websites. It is important to referance our sources in order to back up our information to proof that it is not false.